BIGFOOT ATTACK

One of the things I really enjoy is fly fishing. I'm not that great at it, but there's something about it that keeps me coming back. As you can imagine there are no trout streams in my immediate vicinity here in the Dallas area so in order to fish for trout I have to make a little drive. The closest trout stream is in southeastern Oklahoma and so this past weekend a friend of mine and I packed up the car and headed up to Beavers Bend State Park to camp on Saturday night and fish all day Sunday. We set up camp, cooked dinner, hung out for a while and then decided to hit the sack.

I think at this point I should give you a little background information to help explain why what I'll later tell you is funny, beyond the actual humor of the situation. I've camped in this area several times now and I remember shortly after my first trip there I was watching The Discorvery Channel and saw a show on Bigfoot. You know ... big ape looking thing ... lots of people claim to have seen one ... said people usually have a few teeth missing and one can only assume a few brain cells missing as well ... there is still no proof that they actually exist ... etc. Anyways, this show covered several stories of sightings and most of them were in Oklahoma. In particular around the Broken Bow and Beavers Bend areas. And if you've never been in this area I would say it is a great place for a Bigfoot to live. Trees and mountains for miles on end. You could get lost out there for days before running across a road, house, or person. I don't exactly believe in any of these Bigfoot theories, but at the same time it was duelly noted that we were camping in Bigfoot country with nothing but a dull pocket knife and fry pan for protection.
So we're getting ready to go to sleep and my friend decides he needs a little bedtime snack so he opens up a couple of the honey buns we had brought for breakfast. This is not bear country so I don't get too concerned by this and I think nothing of the fact that he put the opened wrappers back in the box and set it down at his feet inside the tent. After sleeping for several hours I wake up to my friend hitting me and infatically telling me to wake up. In a daze I ask what was going on. In a very freaked out voice he says, "something's trying to get in the tent." He said he woke up to something pushing in the side of the tent and touching him. I about half didn't believe him and so I rolled over to go back to sleep. He continued to plead his case so I told him (with no success) to go outside and see what it was. About that time I saw the side of the tent being pushed in and something scratching or biting near the place the food was set. I've seen various friends freak out about various things over the years, but this was a doozy. I assumed it was a racoon ... the small holes in the side of the tent would indicate as much as racoons have some pretty sharp claws that could cut a hole in a tent ... but of course couldn't resist the temptation to suggest that Bigfoot could be outside our tent looking for his next meal. So my friend (by the way, I'm referring to him as "my friend" in order to hide his identity as some of you probably know him and would make fun of him. It is not an effort to cover up actions of my own) moved the food away from the side of the tent to see if this would curb the advances of the coon or Bigfoot, whichever was outside.

I soon fell back asleep for the rest of the night. Apparently the intruder did not come back as my friend lay awake most of the night unable to fall asleep again.

So the moral of the story friends is even if you're not in bear country or Bigfoot country, you're always in racoon country so it's a good idea to seal up all food and trash when camping and not keep it inside the tent. Oh yeah, and don't forget to keep a camera handy in case it is Bigfoot that's trying to get your honeybuns. You'll probably be dead, but if anyone ever finds the pictures your next of kin could be very wealthy. Just fyi.