Just The Way You Like It

I love Whataburger. If I had to eat the same thing at every meal for the rest of my life and the deluxe chicken enchiladas at Chuy's where not available then I would have a #1 w/mustard only and an iced tea to drink for $4.54. I practically live my life this way anyways so it wouldn't be too big of an adjustment. Over the years I've had only two beefs to pick with my beloved fast food hamburger maker. 1) They take way too long to get the burgers out. I realize they make it "just the way you like it" and that takes longer, but I still think the process could be expedited a little. That doesn't bother me too much though. 2) The cups get way too much condensation. I'll be drinking my cup of tea in the car and whenever I move the cup to my mouth water will inevitably fall from the cup and land somewhere near the crotch area of my pants making it look like I've peed myself. I just never understood why they couldn't make cups that don't do this. I don't have this problem with other fast food cups. Why couldn't Whataburger catch on. Well friends, at the expense of our precious environment, the forces that be at Whataburger have heeded this call to attend to the cup condensation problem. Today as I filled my cup with tea I noticed a different texture. I thought my senses were playing tricks on me but after further inspection I realized I was holding a stirofoam cup in my hands. Sure it will take somewhere in the ballpark of a million years for this giant cup to break down into dirt or a poof of smoke or whatever stirofoam will finally break down into (how will we know since no one has ever seen it). But not once today did it look like I went to the bathroom in my pants. Hallelujah to the gods who govern Whataburger. Followers everywhere should make the pilgrimage to Corpus Christi to pay homage. I will do my part to destroy the environment about 3 times a week in perfectly dry pants.