2005: The Year In Review

That's right people, this is probably a month overdue but none-the-less here it is. 2005 was probably one of the most volatile years of my life thus far. I began the year unemployed and it took a little while for things to get better. I got a W2 (or is it W4) in the mail the other day and I had no idea who it was from. It reminded me of the crazy part time and contract work I did over the first part of last year. I worked very hard trying to secure job with Bluebunny Ice Cream but in the end was unsuccessful in my attempt. This was hard to stomach, not so much from a financial standpoint but from one of pride. It hurt to lose and that was something I hadn't felt in a while. I worked on a contract basis for Dreyer's ice cream for a few weeks doing freezer resets in Albertson's and then as a merchandiser for Coca Cola. Both of these jobs started at 6:00 in the morning which is another thing I was not used to.

So then in April the big break came. I accepted a job with Lorillard Tobacco Company, makers of Newport cigarettes. I thought this would be cool because there would be an air of controversy and disapproval about it and for some reason I liked the idea of that. I think looking back it was probably just my way of masking a feeling of total relief for having a job. That feeling wore off fast. I spent two weeks for training in an office in Atlanta where it is okay to smoke indoors. The smell in one's clothes (and hair if one had any) would almost kill you. But it was a job and I worked on.

The summer was long and hot, but after work each day the shirt and tie came off and everything was great. Weekends were spent on a wakeboard behind a boat on Lake Ray Roberts. Nothing like a long day on the water followed by barbeque and cold beer on the way home. It was a great summer.

I dated a girl for a while. That was something I hadn't done in a while. She was really pretty but wasn't the one so we went our separate ways. It was nice to spend time with someone though. I had forgotten that.

In July I bought a house of my own. It is quite possibly the scariest thing I've done and I still shudder when I write the check for the mortgage each month. In the end though I'm happy to be living here. Although it is sometimes lonely, I enjoy living by myself. I have a little patch of dirt and shelter that is all mine (or at least it will be in 29 and a half years) and I'm proud of that.

In November I took a job with IKON Office Solutions and have worked there since. It is challenging, motivating, hard, requires long hours, but all in all good. I don't know if this is the job I'll do for the long haul, but I'm okay with that. I actually don't know if there will ever be a "long haul" job. That idea scares me.

I hit the fat part of the bell curve of 2005 for you. There were some days that were unbelievably joyous and momentous and others that felt like the darkest night my soul has ever seen. I'd like to keep both of those for myself.

In late 2004 I decided to quit my job, pack up everything I owned and move back to the Dallas area for a number of reasons. 1) get a better/more career focused job 2) be closer to family, especially the niece and nephews who sometimes were unsure of me when I came home to visit 3) and finally to get the hell out of Houston. The night before I left Houston I had dinner with two of my closest friends. They kept asking me for 3 good reasons why I was leaving. I didn't give them an answer because all of a sudden I realized I couldn't put my finger on it. I know I just listed 3 reasons but when you say them out loud to your best friends that you're about to leave, it doesn't seem like near enough. The truth is I just knew it was time to move on. I thought I could leave Houston without any reservation or tears and then as we ate and talked I realized thatI was about to leave two of the best friends I'd ever had. I sometimes second guess my decision when I see pictures of them with their beautiful daughter that I have yet to meet. Or remember the dinners and conversations at Mango's or Chuy's. But in the end I know I made the right decision. I'm not always sure I know why, but I just know.

So after almost a year and a half of turbulence and an effort to settle down a bit I hoping for a more stable 2006. I'm hoping I'm a year wiser. I know I'm a year older. We'll just wait and see from here.

Just The Way You Like It

I love Whataburger. If I had to eat the same thing at every meal for the rest of my life and the deluxe chicken enchiladas at Chuy's where not available then I would have a #1 w/mustard only and an iced tea to drink for $4.54. I practically live my life this way anyways so it wouldn't be too big of an adjustment. Over the years I've had only two beefs to pick with my beloved fast food hamburger maker. 1) They take way too long to get the burgers out. I realize they make it "just the way you like it" and that takes longer, but I still think the process could be expedited a little. That doesn't bother me too much though. 2) The cups get way too much condensation. I'll be drinking my cup of tea in the car and whenever I move the cup to my mouth water will inevitably fall from the cup and land somewhere near the crotch area of my pants making it look like I've peed myself. I just never understood why they couldn't make cups that don't do this. I don't have this problem with other fast food cups. Why couldn't Whataburger catch on. Well friends, at the expense of our precious environment, the forces that be at Whataburger have heeded this call to attend to the cup condensation problem. Today as I filled my cup with tea I noticed a different texture. I thought my senses were playing tricks on me but after further inspection I realized I was holding a stirofoam cup in my hands. Sure it will take somewhere in the ballpark of a million years for this giant cup to break down into dirt or a poof of smoke or whatever stirofoam will finally break down into (how will we know since no one has ever seen it). But not once today did it look like I went to the bathroom in my pants. Hallelujah to the gods who govern Whataburger. Followers everywhere should make the pilgrimage to Corpus Christi to pay homage. I will do my part to destroy the environment about 3 times a week in perfectly dry pants.

The Man In Black

Back in the 1950's there was a man named Johnny Cash who along with guys like Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis changed the face of modern music. I don't think that anyone single handedly invented rock 'n roll but if anyone was close it was this group of guys. They joined forces at Sun Records and began touring the country taking their rebellious style and sound along with them. As the years passed they all took their own paths and developed their own unique style. Being from Arkansas originally, Johnny followed his roots and took the rockabilly based stylings these musicians had and made it distinctly country and more importantly distinctly his. For those who have listened to any music Johnny made during his career you know that you don't even have to hear words before you know it's him. It's difficult to put into words the effect this man had on music and more importantly on humanity. I recently purchased the newly released "The Legend of Johnny Cash". This is basically a compilation of music from all parts of Johnny's career. The thing I like most about this record is it goes in chronological order and as you listen to each song they seem to come alive and allow you to see him in whatever stage of life he may have been when the song was originally released. I love hearing songs that made him famous originally at Sun Records to the songs he performed or wrote with June Carter Cash later on to the songs from the 80's with the Highwaymen to the songs he recorded with Rick Rubin for the series of American Records albums he put out in the twilight of his career. You can hear the changes from decade to decade and almost feel the pain or the love, the darkness or light and all other emotional aspects of his life over the course time but the distinct sound of Johnny Cash permeates everything he did. You know what it is. It's the simple and rhythmic do-chica-do-chica sound from his days with the Tennessee Two. You can even hear it in the American Recordings songs when he simply plays the guitar and sings alone.

You know most great musicians have a period of fame and hit records and then although they continue to play and create they seem to slip into the background of the music industry and are just known and appreciated for their previously recorded body of work. The last single Johnny released before his death was his version of the Nine Inch Nails song called "Hurt". The video for that song was the most amazing music video I've seen in my life. It allowed you to look at his entire life, the ups and downs, good and bad and then have Johnny looking into the camera with his haunting stare and in the most beautiful way possible tell the world it meant nothing. Johnny Cash was a man who knew and walked with the Lord. I love him for everything he did in his life and the influence he has had on me musically but for this I consider him a hero and a role model.

I don't know that there will ever be another person like Johnny Cash. Personally I don't think there can be. When he died I read an article in the Austin American Statesman about him. The writer talked about a time Johnny came to Dallas for a show. So he got in his car and drove north to cover the show. He found out what hotel Johnny was staying at the then camped out in the lobby. After waiting several hours he noticed a commotion coming down the stairs and then all of a sudden there he was. Johnny Cash was bigger than life and he was experiencing it to the fullest. He gathered enough strength to walk up, shake hands and say hello, but that was all he could muster. He said after the fact, he was so overwhelmed with the situation that he didn't even notice that June Carter Cash, a bonified country star in her own right was walking right next to her husband.

Johnny Cash was an amazing man who lived an amazing life. I think this record celebrates that life to the fullest and whether you like country music or not you should experience what this man created. For 50 years he helped shape almost all aspects of modern music and he is to be celebrated.


The Man In Black - Johnny Cash

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

Song

Check this out. It will probably make you laugh and make your spine tingle at the same time.

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=23

Postgame Comments

10 thoughts about what transpired lastnight. I'm not going soft here. Just calling it as I see it ...

1) I thought the Penn State/Florida State game the night before was one of the best bowl games I'd seen in a long time. Not anymore.

2) I still hate Mack Brown. I just do. There's no way I can get over it. He just grinds on my nerves everytime he talks.

3) I didn't really root for Texas during the game (you should derive this from the previous post) but after they game and after they way they won I thought to myself ... "that's not my school that just won but I am really happy for those guys. They earned it and they did it with style. I was proud to be from the state of Texas.

4) I can't believe people aren't saying more about the phantom touchdown Texas had. I know most would say they would have scored anyways ... but you never know. Regardless though I think they would have found a way to win. It was like a season of destiny for those guys.

5) Best sign from the game (this in from Jason Petty) "Trojans stop STD's, not Vince TD's"

6) How arrogant is USC? That's totally why they lost. Reggie Bush threw that lateral because he figured even if he fumbled they would still probably hang 70 on Texas and win it going away. Bet he wishes he had that one back.

7) You see the interview with Leinart after the game? Used to like that guy. Still like him, but not as much. He was very ungracious (is that the word) and said he still felt they were the better team. One word Matt .... "Scoreboard!". Personally I think they are the best team on paper, but last I checked they don't play football on paper. Texas had the things you can't qualify on a stat sheet.

8) Vince Young ... please enter the NFL draft. You're killing me and my team.

9) I missed the halftime show. Was it better than Ashley Simpson lastyear? Had to have been.

10) Feel good moment for Texas players ... standing in front of thousands of students and fans throwing the hook 'em in the air singing "til Gabriel blows his horn!" What a way to cap off 4 hours of some of the most intense football this planet has ever seen. So my hat is off and congratulations go out to the Longhorns and the Longhorn faithful ... not the people who went out and bought a UT flag last week to put up on the front of their house. No love for you guys, but to the rest ... what a year! We'll see you the day after Thanksgiving.



Stole this from a girl named Kelly (I think). She probably stole it from someone else.

My Halftime Thoughts

1) That first Texas touchdown was total bull crap. Instant replay has been so great in college football all year but for some reason they didn't even review this play. I partially blame Pete Carroll for not calling time out.

2) Reggie Bush is an idiot. Can anyone say "hubris"? That's the cockiest little bastard I've seen all day long. What was with that lateral? You're the best freakin' player on the field by far. Don't do something stupid like that.

3) Mack Brown is a total douche bag. I can't stand to hear that guy give interviews. It's so obvious he's talking out of his butt. I would hate to have a conversation with him. Luckily for me, he's a successful college football coach and I'm a lowly little salesman so chances are our pathes will not be crossing anytime soon.

4) Finally ... and I don't mean to keep complaining ... but how awful are Keith Jackson and Dan Fouts. Jackson is of course this larger than life announcer that has been around forever but he should really stick with the Gatorade commercials. They totally should have had Tirico and Herbstreit call this game as they did a great job lastnight in Miami. It's almost like Keith Jackson is drunk. After Texas missed an extra point he just said "it's good". I think Fouts has so much respect for him that he didn't even take the time to realize the kick in fact was not good. It was like 5 seconds before he corrected him.

--For all you non sports fans out there I apologize for the content of this post. But I kind of like sports so you'll hear about it from time to time.

oh yeah ...

6) I wasn't for sure who I would root for, if anyone, in this game. I really don't like USC at all but being an Aggie I don't like Texas either. I thought I might end up liking Texas in this game because their from my home state and represent the Big 12, but it turns out I still don't like them. In games like this I always have to wait until the game starts and then see who my first big outburst is in favor of. When Texas fumbled that punt and USC recovered I went crazy ... so it's confirmed. I don't like Texas.

New Year's Goals

Below are several goals I've set for myself to be accomplished during the coming year. People always make resolutions and never hold to them so that's why I changed mine to goals. Resolutions are too broad, sometimes unattainable and people never really develop plans to accomplish them. As one who conducts business for a living I feel the "goal" can be a much better tool. They range from professional to personal. These goals are attainable (don't laugh), measureable, and have a timeline. They are as follows (and although you may laugh I'm totally serious ... well, mostly):

1) Professional - be at 100% of plan at work. That means I sell what I'm expected to sell, meet quota, etc.

2) Personal - get a girlfriend. I'm thinking minimum of 3 months. Anything shorter than that is just the time it takes to figure out if you really like the person. I think a girl could bring some much needed balance around here. And besides, girls are pretty ... at least the ones I like.

3) Personal - attain beginner level status on the piano. This is not too lofty a goal but could be harder than it looks because I don't actually have a piano. I've been wanting to learn for the past few years but haven't had the time or resources.

4) Personal/Professional - write enough songs to complete a record. Not saying I will make one. I would just like to have enough bullets in the gun if I wanted to. I'm thinking 10 - 12. That means somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 a month.

Okay, that's all for now. I may add. Hopefully not take away. Check on me periodically to make sure I'm sticking to it.

Veggie Tales And It's Apparent Hold On My Psyche

So a few months ago I bought part of a house to fix up and rent/sell. That means, as some of you know, that my weekends are very full and I spend most of my free time at this house working. I was off work yesterday for New Year's so as usual I made my way to the house, grabbed a paintbrush and went to work. Then it happened ...

I had been painting and found a few loose boards around the edge of the house. So I got off the ladder and went inside to get my hammer. Someone had apparently took it from my tool belt to use on another project so a search ensued. As I searched I instinctively began to whistle the following song. Although only the tune came out audibly the words I used were clear as day in my head. It went like this: Oh where is my hammer? Oh where is my hammer? Oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where ...... is my hammer?

The first and only time I've ever watched Veggie Tales was sometime in high school. That was over 10 years ago but somehow that whiny little tomato has some sort of hold over my mind. How can a tomato create such a catchy tune while looking for his hairbrush? I just don't get it. And Christian parents always want better television programming for their children because they feel the stuff out there is infiltrating the minds of their kids. Well I'm here to tell you parents ... Veggie Tales is slowly but surely taking over the world from the inside out. Apparently I've been in its grasp for years and never new it. I'd try to escape but at this point it seems hopeless. I'm broken. And by a talking tomato. God rest my soul.